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The Amazing Zoilita
by Dan Prochoda

I have been humbled. I actually like the feeling, not always, but on this occasion I do. I like it because I judged… and I was wrong. When you judge someone or something in a negative light, and later learn of its positive attributes, it makes you feel good. Ironically, it gives you “hope” where there wasn’t any before; hope that whatever this person or object is, that they have now become a symbol of good when perhaps they weren’t before. I say ironically, because the topic at hand involves “hope”…. hope and The Amazing Zoilita!

I am new to the business networking crowd and have thoroughly enjoyed it. At these events, one meets with others to discuss business, share leads, and at times sell one’s own services. Hearing the individual stories of accomplishments, especially those that have been preceded by hardship has been invigorating. I have also been so impressed by the willingness of the various owners to share their knowledge and experience; it has benefitted me immensely.

A few weeks ago, I was at a “Women ofapostrophe networking event. I was milling about with the various attendees when I saw a woman wearing a long flowing brightly colored dress. She was an older woman with dark hair that seemed too dark for her age. Her hair was straight and covered much of her cheeks and forehead; she peered out at the world from under her little shelter of hair. She wore jewelry, large hoop ear rings, bracelets, and a large silver necklace. I don’t recall if I overheard her mention that she was into Hypno-therapy or if I saw it perhaps on a display she was presenting, but I do recall thinking that she was one I would avoid. Obviously a hippie from some earlier flower generation, she was different. If she did trap me in a corner somewhere, I knew I would give a feign smile and pretend to be interested in her spiel about Krishna, Buddhism, or whatever. I would then quickly make an excuse and be… anywhere else.

Enjoying these “Women ofapostrophe networking events, I signed up for a booth so that I could present my business. As the day of the event grew closer, the flyer came out. The Hypno-therapist would be the featured speaker for the evening. Great I thought, of all people to choose as the guest speaker, now no one will show up at my event. As the day arrived, I walked into the building and had forgotten all about the Hypno-therapist, until I saw her.

“I am Zoilita and I’m doing the presentation tonightapostrophe she said as she handed me a brochure. You’ve got to be kidding me I thought, “Zoilita?apostrophe It sounded like a stage name, apostropheThe Amazing Zoilita!apostrophe The Amazing Zoilita would choose some unsuspecting (yet predetermined) volunteer out of the audience, grab them by the shoulders, pull them close, and force them to stare into her eyes. Slowly, her pupils would turn white and then little black spirals would appear that would send the innocent volunteer into a comatose state. This person would then become stiff as a board and would be balanced between two chairs for everyone’s amusement. Ooh, if only I could pack up my display and get out the back door before the spectacle started…, but of course I had placed my booth up front, no escape.

Zoilita and her assistant passed out little stickers that looked like a heart. For crying out loud, at some point in the next 20 minutes I knew I would find myself hugging other attendees, exchanging carnations, and explaining why I loved this other person even though we’d never met. I didn’t want to smell like incense, and I didn’t want to listen to Zoilita. I had seen these hypnotists before, it was nothing but a show. It was something meant for those who were weak in spirit.

Zoilita then took the floor and began to speak. “I grew up in Berkley during the 60’sapostrophe she said. “That is where I grew up and who I grew up to beapostrophe. Ok, that kind of threw me for a loop; she disarmed me with that one. I was labeling her a hippie, she wasn’t supposed to be admitting THAT never mind being proud of it. As Zoilita continued to speak, her words flowed eloquently. She read for us a short narrative that she had written about the current state of our nation. She began to describe how our nation was like a baby in the womb who slowly becomes cramped by the confines of the mother’s uterus while being surrounded by its own filth before being reborn into the real world - a fresh new start. She spoke of hope in the various aspects of her life. Her words seemed to parallel a recent book I read by Daniel Pink who spoke about change in the world, a change we are undergoing from one of abundance to one of meaning and hope. Zoilita continued - and there was no Krishna chant, there was no incense, and I didn’t have to strip away all my belongings and don a robe.

Zoilita then asked us to close our eyes and concentrate on various colors and to go deeper into a calm place. I still resisted, fighting her words. It didn’t make sense. She was supposed to be talking in a whisper; she was supposed to be telling us that we were getting “very sleeeeepppppyyyyapostrophe. But instead she was talking in a normal tone, in a loud voice, but one that was relaxing all the same. She spoke smoothly, harmoniously, well versed in her art… a professional. I continued to fight; I wasn’t going to be turned into a board. I focused on the occasional cough or ringing cell phone to keep me in the here and now. I wanted to be awake when she read her instructions to our brain; I wanted to know what she was going to make us do. But her message was one of hope and one of well being – that was all - no carnations, no group hugs. We were asked to look at a list of different values and place our heart sticker on the one that was most important to us. “If you make your decisions based on those values that are most important to you, you will be happy with your choices in lifeapostrophe, she told us. Everything she said made sense. Her message was positive, inspiring, and good.

Could it be that I was wrong? Could it be the hippies of the 60’s were actually visionaries of an approaching era? With concepts of spirituality and consciousness becoming ever more prevalent in our current society as seen in our literature, language, and thoughts, was Zoilita simply a trailblazer and a keyholder into a wonderful new world that is beginning to take shape all around us?

Zoilita had CD’s for sale; CD’s that would help me to quit smoking, would help me to become positive, a myriad of CD’s that would help me to overcome a myriad of issues. I don’t smoke and I don’t drink to excess, but I badly wanted to so that I could justify buying one of these CD’s. I glanced at the table, and although years of stereotypical thoughts were collapsing all around me, I couldn’t bring myself to walk over and purchase one of those ‘disks of hope’. But deep inside my brain, I felt it. Somewhere within the confines of my mind and within the various folds, something was stirring. A tiny thought, a little something that wanted to walk over to the table and read all about the various disks. I wanted to buy one of those CD’s and run home like a little boy who wants to try out a new toy. It was very clear in my mind. I pictured all the details of getting home, quickly walking past the kitchen and into my bedroom. I would then jump into my comfortable bed, fluff and adjust the pillow just so, and stretch out and comfortably relax my body piece by piece until I was loose. I would then softly fall asleep under my covers to the hypnotic and melodic voice of The Very Amazing Zoilita.

The “Amazing Zoilitaapostrophe is Zoilita Grant MS.CCHt. Certified Hypnotic-Coach, Check out her website that contains all kinds of Books, CD’s, Services, Self-Help tools and more!

About the author:

Dan Prochoda is the owner of The Safer Spot, a safe meeting location in Westminster, CO, that can be used to comfortably meet a client, contractor, a Craigslist buyer, or even as a place to host a small meeting. Learn more at or email Dan at