Today’s family life is not like our parent’s family life. We demand and expect more of each other and ourselves in our personal relationships. Our employers expect us to do it better and faster. Recent findings from the American Psychological Associate (APA) indicate that “with equal sharing of parenting duties increasingly becoming the norm, many men (as well as women) are experiencing the pressure of being both a breadwinner and an active care giver.” The survey reports that when women are affected by stress, they engage in inactivity and unhealthy eating habits. Men feel stress differently, becoming irritable or angry or having trouble sleeping; as indicated in another APA survey.
When both parents are feeling the high stress of the juggling act, it’s time to reassess the situation and make new goals. We don’t have to sacrifice our quality of life; we can make self-care and caring for our family a priority; we can put our financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being at the top of the list.
The most important step to reducing our stress levels is to note our stress-management behaviors. Such behaviors tend to be habitual and unconscious. When we increase our awareness in any given situation, it gives us the opportunity to make a new choice. Even a few deep breaths or a one-minute meditation will bring immediate relaxation.
Next, parents should ongoingly communicate their individual needs and expectations to each other. In an environment of open, honest communication, parents can support each other and operate as a united team when managing the family and the household. Aligned commitments will strengthen the parents’ bond and deepen their relationship. What better way to prepare the children for creating healthy, low-stress partnerships than to model the desired behaviors of open communication and mutual respect?
Lastly, parents should regularly speak with their children to determine constructive activity levels. If the parents are feeling overwhelmed, it’s likely the children are, too. Setting realistic goals and limits for our children, regarding schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and family time, serves the quality of our whole family’s life. Saying “no” to that one more commitment, invitation, or request is all it takes to create and maintain balance. Juggling is a balancing act, after all. How much we choose to juggle is our choice.
About the author: Regina Sisco has 25 years in the business world, in the fields of Human Resources and Coaching. Now, as a certified life coach and workshop facilitator, she helps people achieve greater clarity and balance in their personal and professional lives. Regina has office hours in boulder and does coaching by phone. Call 720-771-1116 or visit Lifestream Holistic Coaching.com